A New Year, A new week, A New Resolution

Well here I am again 2nd attempt at trying to quit gambling, don’t know where to start really. I will start from where I left off and give you all a brief outline of what happened in 2009.



I must admit stuff was going well to start with I was going to the gym, I was sticking to my no gambling policy and was enjoying life, as you all know I love watching my local club Morecambe FC and was working on a project with Aaron one of my best friends. This was keeping my head focused on other things rather than thinking of bets that I can make to earn fast money.

The project was gathering pace and we were so close to finalising the bus design, for some reason though I found myself walking down Morecambe promenade and then for a split second found myself entering the arcade. I realised what I was about to do and came back out, but this day had not ended so well, later on after having a brew at my mum’s found myself going into the bookies to check the Morecambe odds....I few minutes later I found myself on the ITBOX, within 30 minutes I had lost £150-£200.
I had failed and this continued for several months even though my job was going great, my social life was good and everything seemed to be going well even with my addiction back in place.

Again several more months had passed and I found myself not socialising and found myself confined to 4 walls again, this again was the way things had been 12 months prior to this but I thought I had beaten the addiction, how wrong was I. I now found myself throwing needless money down the drain. I also learned that my job at BT was to go and I was to be reassigned to another part of the company, was I happy... no I was not, the job I had I loved and enjoyed dealing with all aspects from stressful moments I found myself sorting complexed issues and resolving them very quickly, I was now being told I can move onto Sales!!! SALES that’s not me, I am customer service driven and don’t want to lose my job. I then asked the 3rd Tier manager why I can not move with the VIP team to Newcastle, I just got a NO not possible, well why not! No answer was his answer (IDIOT). For me BT had gone from the best company I had worked for to the worst company I have ever worked for.

I decided that I cannot go onto sales and applied for a different position within BT for which I got, I was sort of happy again, well so I thought. I feel so let down and so betrayed by the company I once loved, this pushed me over the edge, I then started gambling massive amounts of money £400-600 a month as you can imagine this is a massive amount of money, my mate Aaron could tell there was something wrong as I never had any money but did I let on, nope I did not and it carried on spiralling out of control.

I had now started my new job role for which required training and I found myself having to travel to Blackburn every day 2-3 hours there and 2-3 hours back this was causing me added stress and worry, I was getting no sleep and not having fun what so ever. Something tipped me over the edge for which I knew I could no longer work I needed time off work so I went to the doctor and he asked me questions and a gave him my answer he then assessed the answers he had assessed that I have Depression something I know very little about and was slightly confussed to why he thought this but after a lengthy talk he had showed me that in fact I am suffering from depression, this could be caused by every action I have brought upon myself from my gambling and debt problems also what really tipped me over the edge was the fact I had lost the job I love.

It is now January and I am still off work and do not plan to go back as yet, I need to get my head in order and myself ready for my customer I like to know I am giving my customer 100% of my full attention when I speak with them.

Here is my list of New Year resolutions and over the next year I hope I can start to make these a reality!

1.Quit Gambling
2.Pay debts off
3.Lose Weight
4.Learn to Drive


My dad has offered for me to go and spend sometime again with him to try and sort my head out, this I will decide on once I go back to the doctors on the 19th January. I have got to get through a meeting with a 2nd Tier manager on the 12th for which I am nervous about but am sure they will only try and help in everyway possible, for now I lieve you with my current thoughts.

“although life can be challenging and we are lead down different paths through our lifes, always remember you have friends and family who can help, never believe you’re on your own as you will only slip further into despair. Find strength in your friends and use that to make your future a bright future.

I need help and I plan on getting this, I thank my Friends, Family and football family for all your help now and in the future”