Sunday 20 September 2015

Gambling never easy to quit

Gambling to some may seem such a simple thing to overcome, but it truly is not, I in fairness have never fully given it up, its god dam hard, if you have an addiction you will understand, if not then maybe read through the blog and you will see how difficult these habits are to give up. It seems I go for a couple of months then have a blow out, in the last month I have wasted £250+ on gambling and its eating me up, i need to stop any form of gambling, the online side of things has been sorted I self excluded myself but the issue is b2 machines seem to have overtaken the world, they say gambling should be fun, in fairness its never fun unless you win and then the real only winner is the bookie, they say they help gamblers but in truth they do nothing, because they don't care, got so much going on in my life right now to fall into this bottomless pit. I am expecting my first child in march, due to marry he love of my life in aug 2016, and back to watching football at morecambe, which I think is helping me keep from wasting even more, the worrying thing is i withdraw money from my credit card which adds added stress to pay more money off before the wedding and baby, I think this is the only thing that's stopping me losing the plot fully at times. I have paid debts of in the last 12 months in the hope of getting a mortgage in the next 3 years, this seems like a distant dream at the min with my constant failures. I just need to stop going into the bookies, but how do you do this, give someone else control of my money, cut up the credit cards that provide me lifelines when I have car issues, or become a hermit and stay in doors, one thing is sure its not going to be easy, on top of that you get lifes stresses on top and all things start to get on top and then I feel lost, I know for one thing I don't want to go down the depression route again. I defo need friends and family to help, but i don't want to be reliant on them, i am now having to sell most of my fishing tackle to cacth up with all these debts, but this is my hobby and don't want to do that, what do I do now, I really don't know....I am lost in life and falling deeper and deeper into trouble. I need help, I am a gambler and I have a problem.