Since my last post

Sorry for not updating the blog I would lie and say I have been busy but the truth is too lazy I will update a lot more frequently from now on.

Friday
I had a good weekend on Friday it’s like something had changed in my life I finished work at 12pm and heading for the bus I ended up getting the number 3a which takes you along Morecambe promenade I am not sure what happed but after been on the bus for 10 minutes and got thinking what I would like to do with my life now. I could not get past the thought of stop gambling I also could not stop smiling as I looked out towards the sea.

I remembered when I was younger and I used to put what you call a set line out on the beach about 500 yards from the prom and put hooks along the line every meter and you would have about 10 on one line I remember going out to reset it just as the tide was coming in. I was stupid enough not to have any scissors or a knife with me just my cousin it was a normal day for me but got out there to set it up I started clearing the seaweed off the line and my finger slipped right onto the hook. I at first did not think anything had happened until I could not move my finger my cousin had to desperately run back to the sure to get the life guard the tide was rushing in and I must have been 5 minutes from being surrounded by water I held my finger in the water to carm my finger down in the salt water. I just remember that day prying to god and he answered my cousin got back with a lifeguard and I was safe again. I seem to remember this when going along the prom and it always makes me think what if I had died!! I was given a second chance, I digressed there the reason I tell you about this is because I was give a second chance to get my life right so I always think about this and it helps me to move forward in my life.

Saturday
Football day had arrived the day I would normal put some bets on I did consider it but I thought back to the previous and I just remember thinking I can do this I can stop. I then later that afternoon went to watch the mighty Morecambe FC a game full of emotions unfortunately we were beaten on the day by a better team after the game I went to the pub with Aaron and had a few beers with my best mate then later on Kate meet with us by midnight I was wasted. The great thing about today was I only thought about gambling once.

Sunday
Started as Saturday night finished I never thought about the bookies or gambling until I went home at about 6pm, as I walked past the bookies I got that sinking feeling knowing that if I had placed my bet yesterday I would of won oh well this is one thing I need to block out and remember all the times I have lost.

Monday and Today
Great 2 days for me I am in training at work so my head is always full with useful/useless information so my trail of thought is tied up with the training.

What I have taken from this weekend is that no matter what, if you keep yourself busy you can put gambling to the back of your mind. It will always be there and that’s why I am in counselling to try and block those thoughts out for good.