2nd Counselling Session

The session was a very interesting one for me, we started by talking about other help available after our 4 sessions we discussed gamblers anonymous group meeting unfortunately for myself they are out of my way the nearest one’s are Blackpool, Burnley and Preston. We then discussed the opportunity of doing 20 sessions over the phone with GamCare I decided this would be the best option for me, with the possibility going to one of the group session once a month. We filled the forms in as required to arrange the sessions over the phone I now just needed to wait for a call to start my first session over the phone.

We then talked about how it had gone since our last session and I was really happy to say I had not gambled since, although the thought had been there to do so on the Saturday but I had managed not to put any bets on. This was with the help of my friends reminding me that I can do it, the fact I would probabaly get a slap or punched off friends if I did kind of put me off. My friends have been a rock for me being there to talk when needed and reminding me of what a great thing I was doing. I could not stop smiling one of my friends said how proud and brave they thought I was about openly talking about it and confronting my demons.

Then we started to discuss my feelings, she asked how I felt about my friends and family saying what they had said I was overwhelmed to tell you truth I was also confused I still thought that people would think very differently of me when I told them my problem but the truth was they just wanted to help me. I have so many great friends and really do appreciate everything they are doing to help me. We then started to discuss how I felt when I was gambling I explained to the counsellor how I felt on Saturday and how I was using the fact that I could have died to help me stop gambling, she was very intrigued and agreed that this was a good thing to focus with. We then really got into depths with the way I felt while I was gambling I had never really thought about this before today and the scary this was I feel nothing when gambling I go in with the intention of just spending £20 and end up spending £500-£700. When I am gambling I am in some sort of trance I have no sense of what is going on around me it’s just like there is only me and the machine in the building, the only time I start realising there are people around me is when I get down to my last £20 or last £10 that really scares me. The fact I don’t actually feel or see anything while gambling worries me the most, the great thing was I had finally realised what was happening when gambling. I would be ‘happy’ lets spend £20 on the machine, I then would be on the machine with no senses at all I then would be feeling ‘sorry for myself’ then ‘scared’ at the fact I have just done that without thinking.

So the 2nd session was great for me, I had finally relised what happened when I gambled I had a better idea of my feeling and I knew what to focus on to help me stop gambling. Afterall if Barack Obama can become the first black president when no one else believed in him and he just kept on pushing for what he wanted then I can give up gambling.